When do you never go back?

So here lately I have been talking to my ex more and more and Im thinking soon we may have the what went wrong and should we try again talk. Then only thing is when do you never go back? Im going through that period when you think should I even allow that talk to happen. Or should I just say no now, I know when he broke up with me through an email then and there I said I was never going to go back. Now though going through our relationship I feel that sting of what if. What if I go back and things work out this time. What if they don’t what if he didn’t really work out his fear of commitment and he runs again. Do I really wanna go through the heartache all over again? Is he really worth the risk of pain. Then I think am I really so different from him. Am I the one who is running now? I guess no matter how many times I mull over the questions in my head I will never be fully satisfied. I will never really be not scared or even ready for the risk. But isn’t that what being in a relationship is risk and without the risk is it really even worth it. Someone told me once follow your heart but is that what any of us should really do. So many follow there heart and never get any were but on the 2:10 to hell( yes that was a play on the movie 2:10 to Yuma). I guess we all just have to do whatever we think is right and see what happens. After all if we never made mistakes we would never learn how to better ourselves. So I guess that’s what I will have to do. Just thought I write this on my blog for ya’all to read. Who knows maybe it will help someone else cause I can’t be the only one who over thinks everything!

What A Wonderful Life!!

So I don’t know what it is but these last few weeks have been horrible! I don’t know if it’s because of planet alignment or just life in and of its self, but I have wanted to be Rose and jump off the Titanic. Wow that was a nerdy way to say I wanted to die. Anyway these have been weeks for the record books. So far I have almost been in a fight with a Pentecostal woman I work with, fractured my hand, fell on my face in the rain, lost my phone, found my phone and then lost it again and much much more. So you see what I have dealt with. Was it only me or has anyone else witnessed or lived this crazy span of crap here lately? I know though that if I have to work another full moon I might have to admit myself into the loony ben. I swear all the freaks come out on a full moon. So take my advice plan ahead lock yourself in your house and hide. So for now I have ranted enough. Till next time.....

Something Everyone Can Relate Too.

This is a song I know everyone can relate to wether its because of a death close to you or even just a bad day month or year. But here it is and the link for the music video will follow.


Creed-One Last Breath.

Please come now I think Im falling Im holding on to all I think is safe.
It seems Ive found the road to nowhere and Im trying to escape.
I yelled back when I heard thunder but im down to one last breath and with it let me say, let me say
Hold me now Im six feet from the edge and I thinkn' maybe six feet ain't so far down.
Im looking down now that its over reflecting on all of my mistakes.
I thought I found the road to somewhere, somewhere in his grace.
I cried out 'Heaven Save Me' but im down to one last breath and with it let me say, let me say.
Hold me now im six feet from the edge and Im thinkn' maybe six feet ain't so far down.
Hold me now im six feet from the edge and Im thinkn' maybe six feet ain't so far down.
Im so far down.
Sad eyes follow me but i still believe there's something left for me so please come stay with me.
'Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me, For you and me.
For You and Me.
Hold me now im six feet from the edge and Im thinkn' maybe six feet ain't so far down.
Hold me now Im six feet from the edge and Im thinkn'
Hold me now Im six feet from the edge and Im thinkn' maybe six feet ain't so far down.
Hold me now im six feet from the edge and Im thinkn' maybe six feet ain't so far down
Please come now I think im fallling holding on to what I think is safe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnkuBUAwfe0

Blah Blah Blah:)

So I have no purpose for this post except to write. One of my commonly used phrases says it the best "To be a real writer is to feel be and die for the written word" That describes me to the T. Even If I go for weeks without writing I still can feel the words running through my blood every second of every day. Some people would call that schizophrenic I call it being a true writer. I come from a long line of writers none of us are yet published in anything but our school papers but we still live for the written word. I believe that to even begin to understand this world you must read some of its greatest authors. Like William Shakespeare, Edgar Allen Poe, Jane Austin, Charlotte Bronte(Currer Brown) and many more. They all brought different yet equally important stories. Most people just read these novels for the adventure, love and amazing stories they all hold. Yet underneath those fantastic stories there is always a wonderful hidden meaning. They teach us that to love is to be hurt and fragile or that to be brave you must sometimes sacrifice. They teach us things that without having you will never be able to understand or be able to survive this world. Writing is about more then coming up with a story that will captivate people or make them hot for wolves and vamps its also about bringing hope and light into peoples hearts and minds. Its about showing them that the world is beautiful you just have to know how to look at it. So the next time you pick up a book look deeper and try to see what the author is really trying to show you but don’t forget that books are also for fun to so go on go visit Forks, Hogwarts, Tara or even the creepy yet amazing world of Edgar Allen Poe after all Halloween is only few days away!! Well look at that I did have something to write about:)

Goodbye Harry Potter.

So I know the Harry Potter books have been over for quite some time but now the second half and last part of the Harry Potter world is over. I know filming wrapped up a while ago but ive been MIA for a while now. So I’ve been without all my latest geeky news so I was scanning Mugglenet.com a great HP site btw if you didn’t already know and saw that filming was over. I was so heartbroken. Harry has been a big part of my life for many years now. People who don’t read wont understand what im saying but you people who read and really grow to love the characters in there books will understand. Harry brought me so much joy and hope, he became family. When I needed an escape the books were there and it always was a relief to escape into his world for a while. I cried, laughed, screamed smiled and always came back with a new sense of hope. That if someone like JK Rowling could write a series of books like that and put so many amazing things in it things none of us could even begin to imagine. Then I could rise above my own problems and become whoever and whatever I wanted. Not only did Harry bring me hope and adventure he gave me friendship. I met an amazing and wonderful person through him. A person that to this very day is my best friend. It is amazing how certain things can bring two people together and put a bond between them that lasts a lifetime. So when I saw that filming had wrapped up for the Harry Potter films it was a very sad moment for me. I know as many do that the movies were never completely true to the books and were never as good but they still are apart of us and we love them. They gave our characters life and us many more moments of the wonderful amazing and just plain extraordinary world of Harry Potter. So on that day when I watch the final Harry Potter film and hear that familiar theme music and see the credits begin to roll I will have that familiar mix of sadness but most of all I will have the feeling of gratitude. For the amazing women and her amazing characters that brought me Hope, Friendship and above all a reason to believe again to believe that anything is possible. Because as we all remember a great man once said. "I will only truly have left this school when none here are loyal to me... Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it." So never forget Harry Potter or any of his friends. Don’t ever forget that there is more to this life then what we can see.

The Youth of The Nation????

Ok so I have a bone to pick with...well almost the entire teenage WORLD!!!


So im not saying I hate teenagers I just hate there attitudes. I also am not saying all teenagers are assholes, but everyone out there knows 99.99999999% of teenagers are!! So I just felt like ranting to all my little Chat Whore monsters out there. I am sick and tired of all those self entitled pretty teenagers who only want to look at them selves in the mirror. You know who I’m talking about, those teenagers who would rather been seen then heard, the ones who would rather talk gossip then read a book and I’m not talking about Twilight. Yes the series was great I love the books and movies but come on we all know why the girls read them. They wanted to read about sexy Edward and smoken Jacob. I’m glade Stephanie wrote them and brought books back into view but what about the other books out there that are just as good and actually make you think. Ok that is a topic for another time, anyways what is it with youth now a days. What happened to thinking and learning. What happened to putting down the phone and reading a book that made you have to think and guess. Books that had amazing authors who put meaning behind there works whether they took place in Middle Earth or even 17th century London. All the youth want to do now a days is talk on the phone or hang out on Facebook. I wonder sometimes what happened to actually having friends who live in this country. I watch the news and see all these teenagers who practically butcher other kids for posting something they didn’t like on Facebook. Come on people STOP and think does it actually matter if someone doesn’t like you or the cloths you wear. Before you attack someone THINK what is there life like. Are they one tease one joke away from suicide? Maybe they say bad things because they are sad and need attention whether it be bad or good. So all I guess im trying to say is put down the phones stop thinking you’re the sun, moon and stars and do something productive. Stop hurting people because they have opinions and be nice even if someone isn’t nice to you.

Never give up!

•  What is love how do you know its real or that they love you. How do you know that there is someone out there for you. How do you know that you haven’t already met and lost them cause something happened. They were scared and dumped you, they have someone else, they aren’t…batting for the same team as you. Whatever the reason was or is you feel lost like you will never find them. Like they aren’t there, like maybe you weren’t made someone. Or that you have done so much bad in your life that you don’t deserve someone. Maybe your faith in fate, god, or whatever you believe in is fading. Like most in the world I have and do sometimes feel the same. How could we not though when around every corner there are movies and songs that push love on you every second of every day. Then there are the couples who have either found there Romeo or at least think they have. But let me tell you one harsh thing. This isn’t Hollywood, the world isn’t a fairytale no man or women will ever come up to you riding a white horse and rescue you from a fire breathing dragon. So if you are waiting or expecting that then you will ALWAYS end up broken hearted. But if you are just waiting for that one person who brightens your world with one smile or touch. That one person who knows you the real you and you know the real them. Then no matter how dark your days get or how many times you have had your heart torn in two, you will find that person. I know its hard and I know there are a lot of people out there who are cruel and don’t care, But for every one of them there are at least two who are kind and want someone as much as you do. I mean look how big the world is. Look at how many people there are just in one town in one country. That person is out there. Hey you may have already met them or know them. Just watch and if you meet someone who can make you smile when you think your going to cry. Someone who you look at when times are tough. don’t let them go. Don’t let the past get in the way, don’t let someone or something that hurt you change who you become, who you are. Because that is what will make you lose the one person who could have changed your life and made you happier then you ever have been. You will know when you have met the right person. You will know because that one person will be the one you want to call first when something good or bad happens. The one who has always been there. Just know that nobody makes or breaks you. No matter what they have done to you, No matter how bad it hurt you. It doesn’t ever define who you are or will be. BECAUSE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, and you will find what you are looking for no matter how many times you lose your way or the waves crash against you. That one person will be who you look at when all that happens. Remember though there is no guarantee that any of it will be easy, but it will happen.

Fashion's Religion: Sea of Shoes

Hey my little Chat Whore Monsters here is a wonderful blog for you to sink your teeth into and boy is it tasty!!Fashion's Religion: Sea of Shoes: "This is a follow up on a blog I did the other day, 'Shoes, Oh Shoes Galore!' I was checking out the oh so amazing blog, Sea of Shoes, and I ..."

Caught in a Bad Romance!!!

Everyone who knows anything knows about Lady Gaga. Her song Bad Romance is a cult classic, its a amazing song with a great meaning behind it. Most women and men know that feeling, knowing that the person you love is like a drug you just cant kick but really need to. How even though you love him or her with all of your heart your miserable. You cry more then you laugh, you love more then they deserve and you hate more then you love. You let it though become a normal routine you come home you throw a dish or two, you say evil stuff to one another like bitch, monster, slut I wish you would die yadda yadda. Then you have the make up sex, lots of people say all that before stuff the tears, broken dishes and hateful words are ok because you get the make up sex. Is it really though, is that all you need in an healthy relationship make up sex? People need to stop staying in a relationship because its routine and you get make up sex, because it always ends up becoming something worse. You lose yourself and so does your partner, you stop doing what matters in life because you are fighting with the person your suppose to love. I know how hard it is to fall out of love with someone, but sometimes you have to...for yourself and the one you are in love with. There is a phrases that is very true. Its better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all. I know that its not easy but no one ever said life or love was.

Wading through shit!!

Life a four letter word, how can a four letter word make you feel like SHIT? That is the million dollar question, many people write me or call me and there biggest problem is always life. Life consists of many different things as you all know. Life consists of family members, money issues, love issues and all of the other stuff that makes us all so very happy:) So what do we do about it, that’s what they all ask me. What do we do? Ok well read closely I have the answer. Are you reading? Ok here it is SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DEAL WITH IT!!!! Life will always be there family, money, love, sex. They will always be there so just deal with it. That’s all we can do, no amount of tears or anger with fix anything. I’m not saying that crying is evil or that you shouldn’t be mad, because you should its proven crying is healthy. Being mad is something all people do, unless you’re a cyborg…your not are you? Lol so I guess what I’m trying to say is that if your feeling sad or mad at life just sit down and think. Is there really anything that I or anyone else can do? If your answer is No then ding ding you are correct. When you reach that answer, stand up and go someplace ride your bike read a book do something you love because no amount of shit will ever stop you from loving your favorite things. They will always be there for us like dildos or chocolate, so just try to love life or at least the fun shit in it:)

Life In Wonderland???????

So yesterday I went too see Alice in Wonderland Tim Burton style!! It was actually decent! I mean it wasn’t completely true to the book, but what movie is these days! Look at HP they hardly ever stay true to the books…sad but totally true. One of the things I despised about the movie was the actress who played Alice. Completely annoying and Ass ugly. Sorry but its true, does anyone else remember an UGLY Alice. Absolutely not. I did love the lines most of the time, they were funny and heartfelt minus the “I’m the wrong Alice.” She had to have said that at least 50 times in the movie, But then here came the beautiful and brilliant Johnny Depp, that’s when I started to really get into the movie. He played a wonderful Mad Hatter. Don’t get me wrong, Johnny wasn’t the only thing I liked about the film. Anne, Helena and all the others did a great job. Even the ass ugly chick who played Alice. Wow I cant even remember her name…sorry Ass ugly. The graphics were another wonderful part of the movie, Tim was amazing at bringing Wonderland aka Underland to life. It was in all a great time. I will be buying it to put on the shelf with all the other great movies I have…that will make the count hmm 500 lol. I will give Alice in Wonderland 4 out of 5 stars, and that’s the Chat Whores view!!